An 81-year-old ballerina says dance has helped her heal from the loss of her daughter, proving that “grey hair” shouldn’t stop you from trying new things.
Sandra Kennell, who lives in Leicester with her husband Tony, 84, rediscovered her passion for ballet at 78 – it was her “first love” as a child. Despite some initial trepidation, Sandra joined the Age UK’s Silver Swans classes and found joy and companionship.
It also deepened the bond with her late daughter, Antonia Collins – an ex-lecturer at the Royal Welsh College of Music and Drama – who was the one to gift Sandra a set of ballet slippers. Antonia’s passing in April 2023 at just 53, due to a brain haemorrhage, left Sandra devastated and unable to even glance at the ballet shoes. For the latest Welsh news delivered to your inbox sign up to our newsletter
READ MORE: The clever plan to remember a Welsh legend’s school
READ MORE: The powerful and enduring legacy of a beloved football coach who died at just 28
Yet, she persisted with ballet, finding solace in it, even imagining conversations with her daughter. Currently, she stands by the belief that life’s richness doesn’t fade with age. Speaking to PA Real Life, Sandra said: “Ballet eventually helped soften the blow of losing Antonia really.
“I can still enjoy thinking about what I would have said to her and what she would have replied, so I think it has definitely helped. And of course, there are other ladies there Age UK has helped me build a network of supportive older ladies. Just because we have grey hair doesn’t mean we should be invisible or stop doing things.”
Sandra with her late daughter, Antonia -Credit:PA
Sandra’s foray into dance began roughly when she was five years old, continuing until she was twelve. She fondly remembered it as her “first love” until secondary school, when she had to relegate it to the background.
In 2020, she stumbled upon an article about Queen Camilla engaging in ballet classes for older learners known as Silver Swans, offered by the Royal Academy of Dance. She reminisced: “I thought, oh gosh, what I would give to go to something like that.”
To her dismay, Leicester didn’t have any Silver Swans classes at the time, which left her feeling “very disappointed”. But in 2021, at the age of 78, Sandra discovered a Silver Swans class on the weekly schedule at Age UK Leicestershire and Rutland, much to her delight.
With some worry, she joined her first session but was soon comforted by the presence of “lovely people”. Initially, Sandra danced in soft shoes, but it wasn’t long before it became apparent that “proper ballet” shoes would be more beneficial.
Sandra was nervous at first but soon fell back in love with dancing -Credit:Jamie Lau/PA Real Life
After a conversation with her daughter Antonia at the time, who was an international stage manager and, Sandra was thrilled when Antonia surprised her with a pair of ballet shoes.
“Doing ballet brought us closer together,” Sandra shared. “We were chatting away about it, and she said, ‘Oh, by the way, mum, your ballet shoes are in the post!’
“And bless her, they arrived it made me feel like a real ballerina.” Sandra now enjoys her weekly classes where her instructor “treats (them) exactly as she would treat a normal ballet class”.
The sessions begin with a warm-up, improvising with chairs as substitutes for the absent barre in their hall. “We’re in two long lines, going through these barre exercises, and I think it’s so good for your memory,” she shared. “I mean, we don’t always get it right, but when we’re dancing together, it is lovely to see. Then we’ll do little pieces of dance, maybe in couples or on our own.”
“We have a chat about the different ballets … we did Swan Lake not long ago. We have a lot of fun. It’s so calming and grounding, and the friendships we’ve built through dancing are priceless. We’ve bonded over our love for dance.”
However, in April 2023, Sandra endured the unthinkable loss of her daughter Antonia, who died at 53 from an intracerebral haemorrhage – a sudden bleed within the brain tissues. Sandra described the following period as “very hard”, finding it difficult to return to the ballet classes that had been a comfort to her.
Sandra loved dancing as a child -Credit:PA
“When she passed away, the awful thing was, I looked at these shoes and to be honest I nearly threw them in the bin,” Sandra recounted. “I could not bear to look at them. I know that seems a silly thing, but that’s just how I was. I thought I’d never go back to that class because the music in ballet is wonderfully uplifting and soaring. I used to tell Antonia all about it.
“Antonia’s great love was opera and we shared so much together. When she passed, that whole piece of my life went; it just shut down because I had no one else to share it with.” Following a gentle nudge from her instructor, Sandra found herself returning to ballet class just a month after taking a break.
She recalled: “I thought, come on, come on, your daughter would not want you to just give up on life. So I took myself back, and Jeanette (the teacher) said, ‘Look, if the class gets too much or the music gets too overwhelming, just step to one side or go home and come back another week’. Once or twice, I felt that way, but I pushed through and it’s been so good for me.”
Sandra says dancing as helped her navigate grief -Credit:Jamie Lau/PA Real Life
Now 81, Sandra believes that ballet has helped “soften the blow” of her daughter’s passing and is pleasantly surprised to find joy in dance at this stage of her life. She expressed, “We’re so lucky to have Age UK, and I’m absolutely passionate about making the most of the third stage of life it isn’t the end.”
Sandra has leaned on Age UK for additional support too, utilizing their help for tasks such as organizing cleaning services for friends and seeking power of attorney guidance.
“They have been brilliant,” she said. “I’d recommend anyone to go into an Age UK.” Actively advocating for the charity, Sandra supports the Omaze Million Pound House Draw, which offers a house in the Lake District, with proceeds benefiting Age UK. For more details, she urges people to visit omaze.co.uk.